i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
