Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
