i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
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