you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize