I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize