what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Randomize
