i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Randomize
