Tell her she can't have a vagina
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
Randomize
