I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
