margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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