I wanna bring you to show and tell
I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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