just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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