I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
i was born a porn star she said
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
Randomize