Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
