We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
