im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
