I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
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