In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
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