He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
Randomize
