I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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