I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
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