I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
Randomize
