Taylor Swift is so right about you.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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