You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
the liver wants what the liver wants
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
Randomize
