That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
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