Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
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