Multitasking record: pooping whilst putting on shoes and cleaning ear with q-tip. All while texting.
Update: fell off toilet, one shoe on, q-tip still in ear. Not a pro.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
Randomize
