How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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