She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
