No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
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