I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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