Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Randomize