I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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