he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
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