We're facebook friends in real life
I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
