so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
