I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
