Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
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