She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
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