ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
