You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
my poor anus
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
