If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
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