he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
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