the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
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