had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
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