Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Randomize
