She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Randomize
