Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
