just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize