Screwed.edu
Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
My bed smells like the plague
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
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