3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize
