I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Randomize
