Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize