We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
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