were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Randomize
