apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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