Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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