just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
Randomize
