Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Randomize