Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
Randomize