I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
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