I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Randomize
