i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
Bang-toberfest begins!!
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize