Having a random hookup so left but love u
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
Randomize
