i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
