I must be too annoying 4 u.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
