3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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