in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Randomize
